Thanks for this. As a nearly 42yo mom of seven, with a bachelor’s and a master’s degree, I can’t tell you how many women my age and older I’ve spoken with who wistfully (or frantically, as the case may be) look back on their 20s and 30s and wish they had done differently. Looked for a marriageable man sooner (like way sooner). Been open to children sooner (like much sooner. Peak fertility is early to mid-20s, ladies). I sometimes regret my higher ed degrees, but I never regret my marriage and children.
Your comment about envy was insightful, too. So much of the narrative we’re sold is based on how we view others, usually other women. It’s unfortunate that we’re so short-sighted: how women look, the stuff they own, the places they go, the siren look of youth and individualism. The frazzled new mom of today at least has the potential to be the 80-something grandma or great-grandma. Maybe she would look with fondness on a career, too, but certainly not the same way she would cherish loved ones as she ages. No, marriage and children don’t happen for everyone (see your opening note to the post; good qualifier). But when they do, they grant literally lifelong gifts. That more young women would learn this, and learn it now.
Thanks for this. As a nearly 42yo mom of seven, with a bachelor’s and a master’s degree, I can’t tell you how many women my age and older I’ve spoken with who wistfully (or frantically, as the case may be) look back on their 20s and 30s and wish they had done differently. Looked for a marriageable man sooner (like way sooner). Been open to children sooner (like much sooner. Peak fertility is early to mid-20s, ladies). I sometimes regret my higher ed degrees, but I never regret my marriage and children.
Your comment about envy was insightful, too. So much of the narrative we’re sold is based on how we view others, usually other women. It’s unfortunate that we’re so short-sighted: how women look, the stuff they own, the places they go, the siren look of youth and individualism. The frazzled new mom of today at least has the potential to be the 80-something grandma or great-grandma. Maybe she would look with fondness on a career, too, but certainly not the same way she would cherish loved ones as she ages. No, marriage and children don’t happen for everyone (see your opening note to the post; good qualifier). But when they do, they grant literally lifelong gifts. That more young women would learn this, and learn it now.
Thank you!