I preach often on the fact of death, the reality of resurrection, and the need to get things right with God and your neighbor now, not later.
In my pastoral experience, I am struck by how separated death has become from dying. Often, I am only called after the fact, by the funeral home, to say a few prayers over an urn. The entire moment is disconnected from anything communal.
I appreciate the things you've said here. I work as a geriatric nurse doing long term care and geriatric rehabilitation. I have witnessed first hand the horrors of how our country dishonors the elderly. They are the most marginalized and neglected population in America, locked away in the prisons of our modern medical system. "Prison," in my opinion, is actually an understatement. Our elderly, due to unsafe staffing ratios (often 30 patients to one nurse) and lack of compassion, are not even allowed to use the toilet or be washed when they want. They are not stimulated emotionally, mentally, or socially. In their confused state of aging, they are often asked, "Why did you do that?" or are yelled at for their mistakes. They often die alone, cold, and dirty with an "admission" ready in the hall to fill their bed and fill the coffers of our greedy American systems. Families have their own reasons for how they manage the care of the aging loved ones. Some of those are legitimate reasons related to their own disablities or life situations, and I can't judge those families. They are doing the best they can. But some of the reasons are just selfish, and honestly, I have begun to even understand those selfish reasons. My own parents and in-laws are aging. It is hard to think about rearranging my life for an indefinite amount of time to manage their ever growing needs. Despite my convictions that are similar to yours regarding aging and death, I also see that it's complicated. I hope my husband and I can rise to the challenge of caring for them with grace, compassion, and love, with patience and selflessness, but I am not going to assume that just because I have these convictions that it is going to be easy. I know our lives will be richer and their lives will end more gracefully, if we can work together to honor them the way that we are called to.
Thank you so much for your work, Polly, and for this very thoughtful and moving response. You bring such a valuable perspective to the discussion, and I hope more people will listen to your experiences as we contemplate a better path to death.
I preach often on the fact of death, the reality of resurrection, and the need to get things right with God and your neighbor now, not later.
In my pastoral experience, I am struck by how separated death has become from dying. Often, I am only called after the fact, by the funeral home, to say a few prayers over an urn. The entire moment is disconnected from anything communal.
I appreciate the things you've said here. I work as a geriatric nurse doing long term care and geriatric rehabilitation. I have witnessed first hand the horrors of how our country dishonors the elderly. They are the most marginalized and neglected population in America, locked away in the prisons of our modern medical system. "Prison," in my opinion, is actually an understatement. Our elderly, due to unsafe staffing ratios (often 30 patients to one nurse) and lack of compassion, are not even allowed to use the toilet or be washed when they want. They are not stimulated emotionally, mentally, or socially. In their confused state of aging, they are often asked, "Why did you do that?" or are yelled at for their mistakes. They often die alone, cold, and dirty with an "admission" ready in the hall to fill their bed and fill the coffers of our greedy American systems. Families have their own reasons for how they manage the care of the aging loved ones. Some of those are legitimate reasons related to their own disablities or life situations, and I can't judge those families. They are doing the best they can. But some of the reasons are just selfish, and honestly, I have begun to even understand those selfish reasons. My own parents and in-laws are aging. It is hard to think about rearranging my life for an indefinite amount of time to manage their ever growing needs. Despite my convictions that are similar to yours regarding aging and death, I also see that it's complicated. I hope my husband and I can rise to the challenge of caring for them with grace, compassion, and love, with patience and selflessness, but I am not going to assume that just because I have these convictions that it is going to be easy. I know our lives will be richer and their lives will end more gracefully, if we can work together to honor them the way that we are called to.
Thank you so much for your work, Polly, and for this very thoughtful and moving response. You bring such a valuable perspective to the discussion, and I hope more people will listen to your experiences as we contemplate a better path to death.